Another disappointment.
They say all things work out for good for those who believe,
but how many times can we truly say this?
Why can’t something just work out straight?
Must everything go through the mill of hardship?
I prayed, I hoped, and I gave thanks
for the opportunity I thought would turn things around.
But it didn’t work out as I planned,
and the weight of this disappointment is heavy.
I have been searching for a win.
I listen to men of God who tell me to hold on and expect the best,
but now I am fifty, and my youth has slipped away in the waiting—
twenty years waiting on a promise.
Scrolling through social media, I see the flourishing, blessed lives of others.
Yet here I am, pushing and struggling,
watching my dreams sit on the very edge of ruin,
while still hoping in God like a naïve child.
The years have taken a heavy toll on my soul.
As my will crumbles under the pain,
I cling to the promises God has given me, just like Habakkuk.
He gave me a timeline, and I am desperately watching for it,
even as I feel myself falling apart each day.
Still, He said He heard my cry
and pulled me from the pit.
So I will wait, and I will watch for Him.